


Chag Purim V'Juliohn

by cognitioncorsair



Category: Orbiting Human Circus of the Air (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Julian, John Being A Cool And Supportive Boyfriend, Multi, Muslim Leticia, Purim, alcohol mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 04:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10267958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognitioncorsair/pseuds/cognitioncorsair
Summary: Purim: everyone's favorite holiday!





	

**Author's Note:**

> You could say that this is a day late, OR you could say its 11 and a half months early (Jewish calendar fam) O.o
> 
> Fuck this was gonna be really short but I just had so many _ideas_ , and then Leticia involved and it just... all went downhill from there (or uphill, really!!)
> 
> BTW "Chag Purim" means "the holiday of Purim", which is basically the same as just saying "Purim", and adding "V'" to the beginning of a Hebrew word means "and", so the title is pretty much just "Purim and Juliohn", which is a pretty good description of the fic lmao (who needs good summaries when you have unnecessarily complicated titles?)
> 
> Notes on the meanings of the Jewish words and some other stuff at the end~

It was a cool, stormy Sunday, and Julian was curled up in an armchair by his living room window and listening to the radio while he watched the rain. Besides the music and the voice of the occasionally interjecting announcer, the house was silent, John taking the opportunity to sleep in on his day off.

The radio crackled and Julian hummed, fiddling with the dial. “Aw, I love this song…” He banged on the machine, the crackling worsening for a minute and then letting up. “I don’t understand why John doesn’t buy a better radio. That’s like… I dunno, like a fireman not putting batteries in his fire alarm, or something.”

He sighed, leaning back in the chair and lazily turning his head to look out the window again. The rain was still coming down in sheets, creating streams down the sloped front yard. _Agh, I was gonna drag John out into the garden today. Can’t do that now. Or, like, anything_.

The song faded out and the soft, lilting voice of the radio announcer faded in. “That was the Paris Orchestra, conducted by Melody Pérez, performing George Gershwin’s ‘Rhapsody in Blue’. One of my favorite pieces, and Pérez and the orchestra did an absolutely exquisite job. Speaking of favorites, listeners, one of my favorite holidays is coming up!”

Julian sat up in interest, reaching over to turn up the volume slightly; the station (one of his favorites) wasn’t just a normal classical music station, but a specifically Jewish-themed one. Besides showcasing lovely and often criminally underrated music, it also broadcast occasional news about the international Jewish community, as well as announcements and fun facts about current and upcoming holidays.

Way back in the day (a few months ago, though it felt like so much longer) when he’d still been living in the janitor’s closet, Julian hadn’t been able to afford a Jewish calendar, so he would use the station to keep up to date on all the holidays. Even now, he still loved to listen to the announcers talk about their own celebrations and traditions, cherishing the connection to his community.

“My children love Purim too, of course. Well, who doesn’t? The holiday starts on a weekday this year, this Thursday, so our synagogue is putting on a special megillah reading for the kids on Saturday, in addition to the standard readings on Thursday evening and Friday morning. I hope all you listeners can make it to at least one reading it this year, it’s always a blast!”

Julian lowered the volume again as the break ended and an unnecessarily oboe-heavy ballad, thoughts running through his mind. The Orbiting Human Circus aired on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings, and while John usually spent Thursdays doing “research” for the show, he was always free by the evening. While, yes, Julian did technically have janitorial duties every weeknight, what were they gonna do, fire him?

He hopped up out of the chair, almost tripping onto the coffee table as he noticed that one of his legs had fallen asleep just a little too late. Once he had found his balance, he bolted from the room, skipping excitedly up the staircase leading to the master suite. He almost stopped to knock on the bedroom door before remembering it was his room too and barging in.

Julian smiled fondly as his eyes fell upon the still-sleeping man. He walked softly over to the bed, leaning over his boyfriend and laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “John,” he whispered directly in his ear. “What’re you doing, it’s almost noon, you gotta get up.”

“Mmmm sleep,” John mumbled, swatting at him.

“I mean, not really, if you’re talking to me? C’mon, we have the whole day off, we’ve gotta make the most of it!”

“Sleep or go ‘way.” He rolled over, pulling a pillow over his head. “Mm tired.”

Julian sighed, plopping down onto the bed and curling up next to John. “Kay, fine, but I still wanna talk to you ‘bout stuff.”

“Shhh…”

“I still wanna talk to you,” he repeated, quieter this time. “So, you remember how I’m Jewish, right?”

“Oh god, how long is this going to take,” John grumbled, burying his face in the pillow. “I just wanted to have a peaceful day off, is that too much to ask?”

“Ok, ok, sorry,” he whispered. “But Purim! It’s coming up! We should go!”

“Julian, there is a very large difference between telling me your life story and assuming that I know what ‘pore-im’ is. I’m sure you can find a middle ground in there somewhere.” John sighed, releasing the pillow and shifting onto his back to look at Julian. “I suppose I’m awake now, I hope you’re happy.”

Julian beamed at him. The slivers of grey light peeking through the curtains doing little to illuminate his face, but John could picture his exact expression with perfect clarity.

“Yay! So, Purim is a Jewish holiday, which I really love. The story is pretty long and complicated, but basically there was this king, and he had an evil advisor named Haman. Now, Haman-”

John reached his hand up, laying one finger against Julian’s lips in the universal “shut up” gesture. “What part of ‘how long is this going to take’ says ‘tell a long and complicated story’ to you?”

“The part where I’m your boyfriend and you love me?”

“Just, just skip to the relevant parts.”

Julian rolled his eyes. “It’s a _really_ good story though. But I guess you’ll hear it at the service anyways.”

John closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Julian. Service?”

“Oh, yeah, ok. Soooo, this Jewish holiday I really love, because I’m Jewish, called Purim, is coming up and it’s on Thursday evening when we don’t have work, well you don’t have work but I can get off work, so I thought maybe we could go together?” He wrapped his arms around one of John’s, batting his eyelashes. “Pleeeaaase?”

His boyfriend pursed his lips, deliberately not looking at Julian’s puppy-dog eyes. “That’s still a weeknight, babe, I don’t know. And we don’t know anyone there, it might be uncomfortable.”

Julian’s face fell, then suddenly lit back up. “Well… what if I told you they would have alcohol? Like, lots and lots of alcohol?”

John grimaced. “God damnit.”

“Yes!!!” He grinned, pumping his fist and almost hitting John in the face. “Oh, uh, there’s one other thing. That we gotta do.”

“…What.”

“Costumes?”

~~~

The week passed quickly, Julian bringing up the upcoming holiday at least once a day. By Thursday afternoon, John had already heard the story, as well as explanations of relevant traditions, at least three full times. However, they had still been unable to decide on one very important thing.

“Surely they can’t expect everyone to dress up, and certainly not the adults, can they?”

Julian pouted, poking at his dinner. “Yeah, but it’s been so long since I’ve been able to.” He sighed, resting his head on his hand. “You know, my stepdad didn’t let us celebrate holidays that much, and he wouldn’t buy me any costumes or anything. My great-grandad took me once, but that was so many years ago now…”

“Oh, god,” John muttered. “Sad backstories give such an unfair advantage.”

“It’s not my fault I had a bad childhood, John, maybe you-”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, that was mean of me.” He sighed, holding out a hand for Julian to take. “Alright, _fine_. You win. What are we going to be.”

“Oh!” Julian’s eyes widened. “I, uh, I spent so much time trying to convince you I maybe… didn’t really think about that?”

“Wha- are you serious? We’re going in an _hour_!”

“Ok, don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.” Suddenly he blushed, lowering his head a little. “Um, there’s one thing we could do, maybe.”

“Yes, yes?”

“So, I saw on a flyer that they have a costume contest every year, and one of the categories they always have is best couples costume. And, you know, from when we went there before, that they’re totally cool with, well, _us_ , entering that. So, I thought, since we _are_ a couple, maybe we could dress up as, like, each other?”

John shook his head. “That’s the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard. Let’s do it.”

After dinner, they went upstairs to rummage through their shared (though certainly not equivalently apportioned) closet. The host pulled out one of his gaudiest work suits, a light orange number with rhinestones along the stitching, going up and down the sleeves and outlining the pockets in bright glittery flashes. “I suppose I could let you wear this one, though you’d have to be very careful with it. It’s one of my favorites.”

Julian grabbed it in one hand, stifling a laugh with the other. He held it up in front of him, looking in the mirror. “It’s kinda big, isn't it?”

John considered him for a minute. “Hm… yes, you are rather short, aren’t you.”

“Are you just now noticing that?”

“It’s crossed my mind.” He looked down at Julian, making some mental estimations, before reaching behind the other man to pull down a velvety maroon suit with a lighter red trim. “This one isn't as interesting, certainly, but its tailored so I can wear it with flats. If you wear heels it should be fine. And besides, you’ll have a more authentic John Cameron experience.”

Julian took the outfit, including the pair of stilettos John pulled out for him, staring at them dubiously. “Ok, but I don’t actually know how to walk in heels.”

“You’ll be fine,” John said, waving his hand breezily. “It’s really not as difficult as people make it out to be.” He took one of the shoes back, kneeling down and gesturing for Julian to lift his foot up.

“John, I can put them on myself.”

“Oh, but it’s more fun this way,” he replied, winking up at his boyfriend.

“O- ok.” Once the shoes were on, Julian took a few wobbly, but overall pretty decent, steps. “Yeah, cool, I think I’ve got it. So what d’you want?”

John put a hand on his waist, presumably to steady him, and used his other hand to pluck the beanie off Julian’s head and position it on his own. “I’d say this is a good start, wouldn’t you?”

They stood there, maintaining eye contact. It felt strange, both because of the much-decreased height difference and the absence of Julian’s ever-present hat.

Julian closed his eyes, leaning up to give John a quick kiss.

“Mmm, what was that for?”

“It’s just, I dunno, it’s just a really sexy hat.”

John burst out laughing, grabbing onto a clothing rack to keep his balance. “It’s- I- my god, Julian, you never fail to surprise me.” He returned the kiss, staying a few inches away when he pulled back. “Perhaps I should keep it, then,” he whispered teasingly. “You certainly don’t need any help in that area.”

Julian blushed, pushing him away. “C’mon, we gotta find the rest of the stuff or we’re gonna be late."

~~~

They drove up to synagogue as the sun was starting to set, pulling into a mostly-empty parking lot.

“Jules, are you sure this is the right time?” John asked anxiously. “There’s almost no other cars here.”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Julian reassured him. “A lot of people just prefer to walk, since it’s a holiday and most people who go here live nearby. Plus, you know, so they can get really drunk. Look, there’s some people right over there.”

John grabbed his arm before he could wave at the strangers. “Don’t just wave to random people, they’ll think we’re weird.”

“Psh, that’s no fun. Whatever, we gotta go or we’re gonna miss the beginning.” He hopped out of the car, stumbling a little as he remembered he was wearing heels. John rushed around from the driver’s side, helping him to his feet. Julian smiled up at him. “This is gonna be fun, don’t worry. And if you’re uncomfortable, we can always leave.” He hooked their arms together, dragging his boyfriend towards the entrance.

Inside, they crossed a small rotunda and walked through an imposing set of wooden doors, entering the large sanctuary. They had been a couple times over the past few months, but the huge, artful room never failed to impress them. Even tonight, filled with people in mostly-ridiculous costumes, it took a bit of their breath away.

“I feel a little underdressed, to be honest,” John whispered as they walked down the aisle, glancing out of the corner of his eye at a man dressed in a full set of medieval armor.

“Told you, people get pretty into it.”

They had just found seats a few rows from the front when they heard a familiar voice calling their names.

“Julian! John! I did not know you two were going to be here tonight. And- oh, mon dieu, what are you _wearing_?”

“ _Tish_?” John spun around, staring at the woman waving at him from across the aisle, who immediately grabbed her companion and came to sit next to the two men. “Wha- what are _you_ doing here!?”

Leticia gestured to the other woman, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You two know my girlfriend Melody, oui?”

“Yeah, of course!” Julian said, giving her a small wave.

John furrowed his brow. “No, I don’t believe we’ve met.” He stuck out a hand. “I’m John Cameron, though I’m sure you knew that already.”

Melody laughed. “We’ve _definitely_ met, John. I came to your New Year’s party? We had a conversation about how amazing our significant others are?” She gave Leticia a kiss on the cheek.

He chuckled nervously. “Oh, well, yes, that explains it. I was drunk hours before that party started, and I don’t believe I properly sobered up for…” He looked over at Julian, who shook his head disapprovingly. “Two days?”

“Ah, I guess that would explain it then.” Melody finally shook John’s hand, which he’d been awkwardly holding out for a good thirty seconds by that point. “Melody Pérez.”

Julian’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re not a conductor, are you?”

“Nah, trains’ve always scared me,” she replied, cracking up at his expression. “Sorry, I can never resist that one. But, uh, yeah, I’m a conductor for the Paris Orchestra.”

“Whoa, that’s awesome!”

“Heh, thanks, it’s a pretty sweet gig.” She smiled at Julian, who was still staring at her in awe. “So, what’re you guys doing here?”

“Same thing as you two, I’m sure,” John said. “You’re Jewish, I’m guessing? I would’ve thought Pérez was a Hispanic name, but I know Leticia isn’t Jewish.” He turned to his friend. “Speaking of which, Tish, are you… ok, here? No one causing any unpleasantness?”

She tugged at her headscarf, eyes flickering around the room. “I was a little worried, ze first time, but Melody assured me zey are very welcoming here. I have actually gotten a few compliments on ze different patterns, as well.”

“Yeah, I mean, we’re already lesbians, what’s a Muslim or two?” Melody laughed. “For your other question, John, it’s not that uncommon to be Latino and Jewish. There is such a thing as Sephardic Jews, after all.” She took in the two men’s blank faces, raising an eyebrow. “You know? Jews who originated from Spain? Damn, what do they teach the kids in Hebrew school nowadays…”

“I never really went, though, and John-”

She held up a hand, cutting him off. “Hey, don’t worry, I’m just messing with you. But Julian, you’re a Jew? That’s so cool, dude, you shoulda told me before. I would’ve invited you for Hanukkah or something. Hey, you two got Passover plans yet?” She let go of Leticia to go sit next to Julian, excitedly making plans to get together for more celebrations.

John scooted closer to Leticia, leaning against her shoulder. “There’s so many people here,” he murmured. “It’s a little overwhelming. All of this, really.”

She patted his head comfortingly. “Good for you, for supporting Julian. Zis seems really important to him.”

“Yes, of course. I’m glad he’s happy.” He lifted his head suddenly, looking around the room. “Though he did say there would be alcohol here.”

“Oh! Oui, right over zere.” She pointed across the room, pushing him off her and in the direction of a large table covered in bottles and shot glasses.  “Go wild, my friend.”

When John returned to their pew, he seemed both significantly less anxious and less sober. He plopped down next to Julian, laying an arm across his shoulders. “Hey, babe, I love it here.”

Julian giggled, taking his hand. “Shhh, they’re about to start.”

Sure enough, they looked to the front of the room to see a man wearing a full football uniform, football included, ascending the steps to the bimah. He tapped on the microphone, leaning in with a “testing, testing, one two three”.

“Is that the, uh…”

“The rabbi, yeah,” Julian confirmed. “Like a preacher, but cooler. But really, shhh.”

“Chag simeach!” the rabbi said into the mic. He received an enthusiastic chorus of “chag simeach”s in return, mixed with some cheering and even a few whistles.

“They seem somewhat rowdier than usual, is that normal? John asked.

“I think most of them are drunker than you, I don’t think they could _not_ be.”

The rabbi finished his welcome speech, yielding the podium to the first megillah reader of the evening. For the benefit of most of the attendees, they interspersed the Hebrew readings with French ones, allowing non-Hebrew-speakers to follow along with the story. Even during the Hebrew parts, they kept themselves entertained listening for “Haman”.

John almost had a heart attack the first time the name came up and the congregation went crazy, booing and swinging their groggers. “What the hell was that?” he hissed, once the noise had died down and the reading resumed. He looked back and forth at his companions, who were all doubled over with laughter. “What?”

“When they say the name ‘Haman’, the evil guy, everyone’s gotta make a lot of noise, I guess to drown out his name or whatever,” Melody explained, once she’d gotten her breath. “Better get used to it, Johnny, this isn’t the last time.”

In fact, he did manage to get used to the noise by the third or fourth iteration, and even joined in by the seventh or eighth. By the fifty-fourth time, he was passed out, head in Julian’s lap. The final reader came up, read their bit, and gave the microphone back to the rabbi, who began to announce the details of the imminent and highly anticipated costume contest.

“Should I wake him up?” Julian whispered to Leticia, who shook her head.

“Let him sleep. We are going to win ze contest anyways.”

He intently studied the couple’s outfits for the first time that evening, noting the flawless tailoring and construction. “I dunno who you’re supposed to be, but you look really good!”

Melody gasped. “We’re Wesley and Buttercup! From the Princess Bride!?” Julian shook his head. “Oh my _god_ , we have some work to do.”

True to her word, they did end up winning the contest, Leticia lifting her mask to dip her girlfriend, giving her a kiss while everyone cheered.

Afterword, the four of them walked out together, Leticia supporting John as he stumbled, half-asleep, to his car. “We can give you a ride, if you want?” she offered, pursing her lips.

“Thanks, but I’ve got it,” Julian replied, proudly displaying his recently-earned driver’s license. “It’s a pretty short drive, anyways.” He waved to Leticia and Melody as he drove off, quickly returning both hands to the steering wheel.

“Hey… Jules…?” John said softly from the passenger’s seat.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’ll go back next year?”

“Oh my god, I have the greatest idea for costumes,” Julian said, grinning excitedly. “But we’ve really gotta start working on them soon, like, did you see Tish and Melody’s? They were _so good_ , I don’t know if we can beat them. Ok, but really, just listen to this idea-”

John yawned. “They have really… good… drinks…” he murmured, drifting off to the sweet sound of Julian’s voice, chattering on as usual.

**Author's Note:**

> Facts and stuff:  
> -George Gershwin is a famous Jewish composer, which is why I chose him for the radio station  
> -I was reading up on the name "Pérez" and it turns out it comes from both Jewish (without the accent mark) and Hispanic roots, which I thought was too cool not to include  
> -The Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar, so holidays and such fall on different dates every year, though around the same time more or less  
> -All the Purim stuff is a little much to get into here, but it's a really interesting holiday and I would recommend reading up on it! One fun fact, you're literally supposed to drink until you "can't tell the difference between Haman and Mordechai" (Mordechai being one of the heroes)  
> -Sephardic Jews traditionally came from Spain and Portugal, but I believe it now encompasses a slightly wider ranges (it, as most Jewish history is, is messy and complicated)
> 
> Jewish terms:  
> -chag simeach: happy holidays  
> -rabbi: generally the leader of a congregation, more or less translates to "teacher"  
> -bimah: the raised platform at the front of the sanctuary, where the ark is located and where the clergy stands  
> -groggers: noisemakers
> 
> Come yell about Jewish Julian with me @ rotatinghumancircus.tumblr.com :D


End file.
